When I received this article in my inbox from a great colleague and new friend, Leah Lund of One Whole Health, I knew I had to share it with you all! Leah’s philosophy and approach to health and wellness mirrors my own and she has articulated the impact of the epidemic of doing too much so well and the steps to unhook yourself from this disease of our modern lives.
As I say “Who you are in the world is as important as what you do”, so if you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, resentful, unhappy or unfulfilled this time of year, I invite you to look for ways to create change in your life.
Hope you find some nuggets of gold below!
Love Mandie xx
“I Need To Have One Vice!”
Those were the exact words my client, Laurie (changed the name for privacy) said to me yesterday!
Laurie has EXTREMELY exhausted adrenals. She just quit her job, sub-let her apartment, hired me as her Health Coach and travelled cross country to give herself the space and time she and her adrenals need to heal. Yet here she was…fighting for her right to drink 2 cups of coffee a day (part of what got her to adrenal exhaustion in the first place) because she doesn’t drink alcohol, has given up sugar and doesn’t sleep around! This was her justification! I said “I’d think I’d rather have you sleep around!” 🙂 Lol!
At least sex generates some feel GOOD chemicals as opposed to coffee, which makes feel BAD chemicals.
We proceeded to discuss WHY she felt she needed at least one unhealthy habit. What was the logic? EVERYTHING we do is for good reason (even if it’s an unconscious misguided reason) so why did Laurie believe it was a good idea to keep draining her already spent adrenal glands? Why did she NEED a Vice?
Laurie is using “just one vice” as a substitute for something else in her life.
I’m sharing the solution I offered to Laurie because I KNOW it could help others out there. In the last two weeks I’ve had more clients miss their coaching calls than have all year and it’s happening because they are over-scheduled, getting sick or putting other things before their well being.
Far too many people are running on fumes yet taking on MORE – more responsibilities, more to do’s, more events, more work to pay for the holiday…the list goes on and on.
The CAUSE of Laurie’s adrenal fatigue, getting sick, feeling frantic and acting out through Vices is……STRESS. I’m not talking about stress from unforeseen circumstances or situations out of our control.
I’m talking about the SELF INDUCED stress that comes from holding yourself to an IMPOSSIBLE PERSONAL STANDARD.
I’m talking about the SELF INDUCED stress that comes from taking NEGATIVE SCORE of where you are in your life and how much you can DO.
I’m talking about the SELF INDUCED stress that comes from TAKING UNREALISTIC RESPONSIBILITY for what other people do and how other people feel.
From my view point, this is an EPIDEMIC! I see it every day!
If YOU won’t lower your impossible personal standards and stop OVERSCHEDULING yourself, here’s what will happen:
- You will reach for bad habits to compensate for lack of down time and to feel in control.
- You’ll keep pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion – physically, mentally and of specific organs and glands.
Do you REALLY want that to happen?
Is a VICE really worth all that?
Wouldn’t you rather be fair with yourself and your body and create down time, healing time, and rejuvenation time?
Give yourself a break LITERALLY?
There is NO PRIZE for pushing yourself too hard.
There are no first class seats in heaven!
There are no gold stars for being unrealistic about what ANY human being can do in a day.
All you will accomplish by DOING too much and “out-doing” others is that you WILL crash, you WILL develop unhealthy habits and you WILL miss the point of life….living, being, having fun…enjoying the ride!
Another client, Victoria, is pushing herself, her business, her body – anything she can push – because she’s always been an “over-achiever” type. She’s juggling too many puzzle pieces and she’s trying to cram them all in. She’s developed a rash on her back, insomnia and headaches. Her reason for working so hard is that she wants to be thought of as capable. I suggested “Be the most CAPABLE you can possibly be at taking care of yourself.”
Victoria’s vice is more emotional than physical. Her bad habit is the habit of thinking she’s “never done enough.” This thinking will have the same outcome as Laurie’s coffee fix.
Here’s my top solutions to un-train an IMPOSSIBLE PERSONAL STANDARD:
- Schedule YOU first. Make the first thing you plan for on any given day something FOR you. Yoga, journaling, quiet time, a nap…first is one for YOU!
- Schedule only 2 events per day that have designated “times” i.e. pressure
- Put all other to-do’s on a To Do MENU – order from the menu based on the time you have (expect everything to take twice as long as you typically give yourself) and what you FEEL like doing
- Don’t do someone else’s work or try to make up for their short-comings
- Don’t take responsibility for other grown adults who can do it themselves
- Don’t problem solve other people’s problems
- Don’t spend time defending your choices
- Don’t spend time explaining your choices
- Don’t spend energy apologizing for your choices
- Communicate what you can and can’t do in a matter-of-fact, calm way or as Victoria began to say “be clear, but kind”
If there is any BEING out there that evaluates the quality of your life, it will be on how you WERE as you lived your life, not how much you DID.
In the end, you probably won’t even remember how much you did! When you apply these solutions, you will be very capable at self-care AND you will teach others how to treat you with care. You will be less tired and more engaged in that which you CHOOSE to do. Win! Win! Win!!!
Be Happy…Be Healthy…Be Laughter…Be Love,
Leah Lund is an Executive Health Coach with a holistic approach to energy, mood and weight. With over two decade’s sales and marketing experience, Leah founded One Whole Health with the understanding that the success of a business directly correlates with the energy, focus, and balance of its leader. She teaches executives to manage their energy not time to achieve personal and professional success.
Leah uses a proven system to help clients repair chemical/hormone imbalances that unknowingly sabotage their efforts, while harnessing the power of their thoughts and beliefs through on line journaling. Corporate Wellness Solutions and Wellness Retreats are also available. Leah is certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners and the Neuro Nutrient Therapy Institute, serves as Ambassador and Student Mentor for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and is a member of the International Positive Psychology Association.
You can sign up to receive more of Leah’s wisdom in her newsletter and get your free copy of her ebook ‘Feeling Good On Purpose: A simple guide to balancing your energy, weight, mood and life!” at www.onewholehealth.com.